I wont do this without you
by jennygiraffadil
Summary: Ron thinks Harry being loved will defeat Voldemort, just like last time. Harry doesn't know Ron means by him. Confusion and revelations.


**I won't do this without you**  
_(so take heart because you know you have mine)._

_By littlelesslostboys_

**DISCLAIMER: I wish**.  
_Harry Potter/Ron Weasley._  
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After dark, sitting cross-legged on Harry's bed, they tried to make sense of everything as they had many times before. The rest of the boys were asleep --except for Seamus who was out with Lavender again. Dean kept tossing and turning restlessly, muttering to himself, whilst Neville's light snores filled the space between their beds.

"Don't ever tell her I said this," Ron muttered, fidgeting with the piece of parchment between his fingers, "but maybe, this time, Hermione's right."

"I don't know," Harry replied, biting his lip and pushing books aside, flipping through charts and looking generally a bit too ruffled, "This is all just a bit --" he ran his hand through his hair irritably.

" -- confusing?" Ron supplied and he nodded.

"I mean, Voldemort's back," Ron flinched at the name, "But I don't see how looking through books and learning charms and potions and -- _everything_ is going to help us. All he needs to do is cast _Avada Kedavra _and, you know."

Ron nodded.

"As good as gone, mate."

"Exactly."

They hadn't even broached the possibility of Harry surviving it _again_, he was, after all, just lucky enough to manage it the first time. And he couldn't even remember anything of it. Besides, it had all been down to his mum anyway. Without her -- well, they didn't talk about that. But the general consensus was that they needed to find a way to fight it. Fight him.

"So what do we do?" Harry asked, slamming another book closed with frustration and picking up a few loose leafs of paper.

"What can we do?" Ron replied, taking them from Harry and earning himself a dark look as he fitfully picked up more, "You're going to have to go to Snape. Continue with the --"

"NO."

"Shhhh!" he whispered, his eyes widening in fear of waking the other boys up, none of them knowing yet just how bad the situation was. He didn't want to make it worse. It would be almost unbearable living with Neville. He wouldn't leave the room as it was.

"I know it can't be good, Harry," Ron continued, "But we haven't got anything else have we? Unless you plan on flying into him repeatedly on your Firebolt, Hermione's right."

They both sighed. Pushing papers off their knees and sitting back, looking completely resigned.

"It -- it isn't that bad, is it?" Asked Ron, tentatively, after staring into the space behind Harry's left shoulder for longer than he thought, "The -- the -- thing with Snape?"

"He can see into my mind. He -- he -- I don't know, it's like -- like a presence. I know he's there. And I'm supposed to stop him. To -- to get him out before he sees --" Harry trailed off, muttering under his breath and being reminded, almost instantly, of how bad it _had_ been.

"Sees what?" Ron pushed, rolling a corner of parchment between his thumb and forefinger, creasing it into a hard, sharp line.

"Everything." Harry replied.

"Oh."

They sat in silence again. Harry taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes, as if he could ease the dull pain behind them with the pads of his hands. It wasn't working. They both knew that. Everything they had thought of, everything Hermione had thought of, even some of the things Dumbledore had thought of and still there were stuck looking through books that were getting them nowhere. _'It's like the second task all over again' _Harry thought, but, of course, with much more at stake. He glanced over at Ron who appeared to be studying him rather heavily.

"What if --" Ron started, before flushing a little just under his hair and shaking his head.

"What if -- _what_, Ron?" Harry pleaded. Desperate for some sort of suggestion. A lead. Anything. This had been driving them all crazy for weeks now. Months.

But Ron wouldn't budge and his cheeks seemed to be reddening slightly, "Forget I said anything. It wouldn't work."

"No," Harry replied, softly, moving towards Ron and resting a hand on his arm with an edge of encouragement, "No, tell me". And he smiled.

And Ron let out a deep breath.

"Well, just. Your mum. You -- you survived cos of her loving you right?" Harry nodded, "I was just thinking maybe if someone else loved you, _this time_, maybe you could survive again. That's all."

The blush, Harry noted, spread right down under his pyjama shirt.

"I don't know," he said, thinking, biting his bottom lip completely unaware of how his hand still rested against Ron, "I mean. My mum -- you know --" he lowered his voice to a whisper, obviously not fond of talking about it, "_died_ to save me. She -- she sacrificed herself for me. Hagrid said so. Even -- even Voldemort said so. And -- and the dementors --"

"Yeah, but, if someone," Ron sighed lightly, pursing his lips together before letting his eyes rest on Harry's, "if they _really_ loved you. Like, more than a family way. Or --" he stuttered, "Or -- a _friend _way. You know. It -- it might --"

"I don't want you -- _or Hermione_," Harry added, finding a flush against his own cheeks now, "dying because of me."

"It wouldn't be _because_ of you -- it'd -- it'd be _for you_."

Their hands stumbled into a steady grip and they both looked away.

"I'm not going to let you die _because_ of me or _for _me, Ron. Not -- not now, at least."

"I -- I was -- I mean -- I was talking about Her -- Hermione before you know -- not -- not --"

"You?" Harry smiled. And Ron, using his free hand to rub his face, tried to hide his embarrassment in the dark of the canopy folds.

"It's okay Ron," Harry whispered, when it was clear he was going to get no reply, "I -- I mean. It's natural right? For -- for us to --"

"I -- I don't know --" Ron replied, stumbling over his own mouth in a rush to get the words out whilst at the same time trying to keep them in, "I mean -- the -- the twins -- but. It's just -- just us, you know?"

Harry nodded and they both smiled. Ron shifting the papers to the other side of the bed and moving to sit beside Harry. Squeezing his hand.

"Maybe this is natural for us." he said.

"It still doesn't solve the Voldemort problem though."

And they both sighed, again, looking more downcast.

"Maybe I can --" Ron began quietly, but Harry stopped him before he could suggest anything like before.

"I'm not going to let you die, okay? So don't even --"

It was Ron who cut him off this time.

"I wasn't!" he said, a little more forcibly than usual, "I was -- I was just going to say that maybe -- until, I mean, we can find out how to kill Vo -- Vol --" he paused, "_You-know-who_. We could try to --"

Harry smiled, again, before he finished -- and nodded.

"I'd like that." he said, pulling Ron near him. Reaching in and, amongst a mess of papers and books and god knows what else, placing a very gentle, very hesitant kiss just on the edge of his lips. Both of them blushing.

"Yeah?" Ron asked.

"Yeah."

"I'd like that too."


End file.
